Your dumbest moment while working on your car

"TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts." (thebloody)
08/06/2013 at 14:42 • Filed to: derp

Okay Oppo what with all the horror stories about shops fucking up peoples cars I thought we could all share with the group our greatest boneheaded moments while working on our rides. Don't worry this is a safe place... maybe, I'll start:

So there I was a young lad back in college working on my beater college ride (Jetta Eco-diesel that I'd bought for $1500 back in 2001 if you're interested). The timing belt had broken on me and so there I was rebuilding my cylinder head.

Now that went pretty well, luckily my pistons didn't get to fucked up so there I am with not a care in the world rebuilding the cylinder head (well other than not having a car but it was cathartic work). Finish everything up, put it all back together, look at my work with pride and proceed to then crank the engine. Yeah... mr genius here forgot the ratchet wrench on the crank pulley bolt so now the pulley is on the floor. Bent the valves and left pretty valve shaped indentations on cylinder heads 2 and 3

At least I got practice rebuilding an engine...

DISCUSSION (37)

Bob Loblaw Made Me Make a Phoney Phone Call to Edward Rooney > TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts.
08/06/2013 at 14:48

That's pretty rough, if I'm honest.

ncasolowork2 > TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts.
08/06/2013 at 14:49

Not really a stupid mistake, but my 1998 Mustang had the original battery still in 2012. I needed to replace it after winter storage and I went to Autozone to purchase a new battery. This is nice because Autozone will install it for you. Well, that's the idea anyhow. Except when you have so much corrosion on the bolt that holds the battery in place (better than twine at least) they can't remove the old battery. A jump start (that battery wouldn't hold a charge) and 4 hours of cussing and swearing and wrenching later we got the bolt loose and out.

Kugelblitz > TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts.
08/06/2013 at 14:49

Replacing a water pump on a small block chevy because it was noisy. The noise was because the oil pump wasn't pumping. The test drive lunched the motor.

daender > TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts.
08/06/2013 at 14:50

Removing the hardtop off of the Miata, I scratched the paint near the trunk with part of the roof. Dumbass moment for sure.

TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts. > Bob Loblaw Made Me Make a Phoney Phone Call to Edward Rooney
08/06/2013 at 14:51

Well my dad always told me that if I do something, I do it properly. So I properly fucked that shit up.

maximillious > TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts.
08/06/2013 at 14:52

I havent done alot of car work, but i did recently buy a brand new custom built one of a kind Bicycle. As i was assembling it I started to add the seat clamp ( the part that holds the seat post from sliding into the frame.. It wasnt going on all the way so i tried a rubber mallet to get it the last few inches... in the process I chipped the brand new custom paint job, only to realize the seat post clamp had a little ridge to keep it from going passed the point it already was... I wanted to beat myself with the rubber mallet.

TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts. > maximillious
08/06/2013 at 14:54

Yeah I was very angry that day, didn't help my dad was crying he was laughing so hard. Sick bastard...

Brian Tschiegg > Kugelblitz
08/06/2013 at 14:55

Damn. That really blows.

Scorpio GTX1 > TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts.
08/06/2013 at 15:00

I almost rounded the screw head on my MAF sensor, which would have made removing it near impossible. I derped and tried to turn it the wrong way. Didn't help that the damn thing was a phillips screw, which is the worst thing ever conceived by man. I replaced them with hex screws after that.

delete-me-please123 > TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts.
08/06/2013 at 15:01

Left the battery charger balancing on something in the engine bay in my 68 Camaro when I started her up. The charger fell and the cooling fan grabbed hold of all the cables making one hell of a noise, shredding the charger and cables to bits.

BiTurbo228 - Dr Frankenstein of Spitfires > TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts.
08/06/2013 at 15:04

Put in scarpyard gas struts for the Maserati's bonnet. Simple.

Pushed the bonnet up too far. Not good.

Cracked windscreen bespoke to Maserati 228, of which there are ~16 in the country. Really not good.

Moron.

Luckily, we've managed to find one for sale. Ł500. Ouch.

Brian Tschiegg > TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts.
08/06/2013 at 15:05

My dumbest moment has happened multiple times. I habitually try to sit up under my car only to have some piece of metal jab into my forehead and remind me that I have a two-ton vehicle over me.

TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts. > Brian Tschiegg
08/06/2013 at 15:06

I've cracked my head more time than I care(try?) to remember.

Grab Paddle > TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts.
08/06/2013 at 15:07

Once I installed a manual boost controller on a 91 talon turbo. I did a pretty good job installing it I thought, replacing the cigarette lighter with the new valve and running all the lines to the wastegate through the firewall. I had a boost gauge and did some test passes and got it set at a nice 12psi. That night though, at the street races, I didn't realize it during my testing for IDK why, but when I applied full throttle it closed of the vacuum line and I watched in horror as my boost gauge spiked at over 21 psi and then the BOOM! White smoke out the exhaust. Head down in shame. Time for a new turbo. Blessing in disguise!

You can tell a Finn but you can't tell him much > Scorpio GTX1
08/06/2013 at 15:09

I'll see your Phillips screw and raise you a slotted screw.

Kinja'd!!!

Just recently I was trying to get a bolt off the undercarriage of a camper trailer. It was rusty, so that must be why it isn't turning. Finally I got the breaker bar and really put the weight on it and it promptly snapped. Which was fine, it was a through bolt with relatively easy access. But then when I went to put the new bolt & nut back in I couldn't start the threads. Which is a common problem when YOU TRY TO THREAD THE NUT IN REVERSE. Yes, it took me that long to realize that I was indeed turning the old bolt clockwise in my futile attempts to loosen it.

Takuro Spirit > TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts.
08/06/2013 at 15:10

I killed my Firebird. This is how:

Before I had my license I bought the '77 Esprit from my aunt with a few issues I was determined to fix to get it 100% road worthy. Amongst those items was a tune up, and a EGR valve replacement.

Now a little backstory. My aunt had been in an accident with the car, and they had replaced the radiator support with one that came out of car equipped with a 301ci Pontiac V8. Her car had the slightly better 305ci Chevy V8. One of these things are not like the other, say for instance, the vacuum routing diagram on the panel that was swapped.

So needless to say, all the pages from the repair manual I copied at the library were for the 301. Vacuum diagrams, plug wire routing, etc. Thankfully, the parts all came with the car, so I didn't fuck THAT up. But I did fuck up putting it all back together. Annnnnnd crossed a few plug wires. Which caused a misfire that I stupidly ran the car for awhile with, and even drove it around the block with. Dumb, dumb, dumb.

Not sure what I did, but ever since (after I realized my mistake and put it right) the car would foul out the #8 plug, and it started burning oil. Not a lot, just about a quart per week or two. I kept a case in the trunk.

ONCE the oil light came on, going around a sharp bend and when I pulled over, it was a quart and a half low. Okay, now I know that works....

One day, I was on my way home from my girlfriend's house (a 90 minute drive) and rounded a corner on the highway and the oil light flickered on, then went out.

That's. Not. Good.

See if a sharp bend will turn on the light at a quart and a half low, what would a slight bend mean?

Well, turns out it means THREE FUCKING QUARTS LOW.

And, as it turned out, a burned off intake lobe on the #8 cylinder. I tried to limp it home, but it wouldn't accelerate, and the noise was horrible. Not wanting to damage the car anymore, I left it on the side of the road.

So anyways after a long night in the middle of nowhere, and a few days at the family's mechanic, it was fixed. New/used cam, labor, and $200 gone from my wallet. But... it wasn't running right.

Got it home and sure enough, my mechanic had put all the vacuum lines back on according to the diagram on the radiator support for the 301. I felt a little less dumb.

Nick C. > TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts.
08/06/2013 at 15:11

I'd have to say that it's a tie between jump-starting a positive-ground car the "normal" way, and lighting it (and it's oil leak) on fire, and repairing a cracked oil pan with JB-Stik, a shopping bag, and a final coat of JB-Weld, without draining/removing the pan.

Strangely, the JB-Welded pan stuck and lasted for over a year, but man was that a dumb/cheapskate repair.

Benzed92 > TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts.
08/06/2013 at 15:12

Not too bad of a mistake, but I was installing a new TMIC on the Speed 6 and had the ECU cover off so I could reset it during the install. Went to close the hood and no dice, thought it was the 3.5" core of the intercooler hitting the hood but after 5 minutes of looking around my buddy picks up cover and shuts the hood like it was nothing.

LandSpeed-DSM > TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts.
08/06/2013 at 15:15

Years ago pulling an overnighter around about 5 or so in the morning I had a real brain fart. Very familiar with these motors, built several by this point and doing everything like clockwork.. load the valvetrain into the head, drop the stud locating dowels, gasket and head on the block (I4) fasten it down, then install the oil pump into the front case, front case onto the block follew by water pump, pulleys, tensioner, alternator, A/C compressor, exhaust and intake manifold.. etc drop the cams in the journals, RTV and install valve cover go to put the cam gears on before timing everything and notice I installed the head BACKWARDS.

PelicanHazard > TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts.
08/06/2013 at 15:16

Who: Me.

What: An '08 Sentra with a stripped wheel stud.

Where: The tilted driveway that technically belongs to the downstairs neighbors, but they weren't home.

When: Last fall, shortly before ordering my Dart.

How: The Sentra had changed many 'owners', being my car until I moved out and then falling back to my mom. At some point unknown to me, the rear right wheel was taken off and put back on by a shop, though the dumbass tech applied an impact wrench like a monkey buttering toast and stripped the threads on one of the wheel studs. I only noticed it after parking at my apartment and looking at the wheel as I walked away (the nut was very obviously not on all the way).

A trip to the auto parts store just a few minutes away yielded an appropriate replacement stud and generic nut, and after a quick read of documents on how to change wheel studs on drum brake wheels, I moved the car to the aforementioned driveway in the back, properly propped up the offending wheel, removed the rim and tire and got to work trying to take the drum off.

Trying . No matter what I did, it wouldn't budge. I knew it being rusty and likely never serviced would make it a struggle, but it was like trying to break stone with my eyelid muscles. I braced myself several different ways, tried to pry it off with various implements, and even stupidly tried to leverage the car's own weight for my efforts (I thankfully came to my senses and realized moving the car around with a wheel off is reaching new levels of fucking stupid).

I was flummoxed. This simple repair was kicking my ass like the drum was Godzilla and I was an unassuming Tokyo skyscraper. Daylight was fading fast, and I had just about started to accept defeat when the solution appeared.

Why: I left the goddamn parking brake on.

KMarino > TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts.
08/06/2013 at 15:23

See my latest post where I ran into my wife's car...

!!! UNKNOWN CONTENT TYPE !!!

TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts. > KMarino
08/06/2013 at 15:25

How was the couch?

ncasolowork2 > Grab Paddle
08/06/2013 at 15:29

Street racing? Really? GTFO

boddagettaflyer is staying put > TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts.
08/06/2013 at 15:30

I once forgot to settle a traffic ticket, thereby incurring a license suspension and a bench warrant issued for my arrest. Does that count?

I should mention I have a law degree.

Brian Tschiegg > TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts.
08/06/2013 at 15:30

Are able to*

KMarino > TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts.
08/06/2013 at 15:39

Surprisingly, she wasn't that upset about it. Her mom backed into her car the exact same way about 2 years ago. That fender has been fixed before. I told her her car was too boring to notice it in the driveway. Suggested we paint it bright orange instead of the beige it is now.

Slave2anMG > TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts.
08/06/2013 at 15:48

Jump starting my MG which had been garage bound for several months then noticing a plume of smoke coming out of the alternator then realizing that the RED cable on my battery was the negative side and the black was the positive. Whoopsie. At least that didn't lunch the electronics in the VW I used to jump it...

boxrocket > TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts.
08/06/2013 at 16:06

Not putting a vacuum hose back in the correct place when I was replacing the starter motor on my 1997 626. When driving home, a jackass in a brand new equinox (when it was a brand new model) pulled in front of me and slammed on his brakes for no obvious reason (and he never explained it in any of the post-accident brouhaha). The collision got the vacuum hose into the throttle cable area and forced the throttle to stay at full-on, but due to the force of my braking, the hood was crumpled by the underside of the equinox's bumper. The car would have been drivable had I the tools to open the hood and figure out why it was stuck on, but alas I had to eat a towing bill in addition to the repairs, and the lawyer fees to fight a "reckless and imprudent" driving charge from the local cops.

Damn I miss that car. :(

desertdog5051 > TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts.
08/06/2013 at 16:54

My first car. Decide I can replace the valve cover gasket myself. Had bought the gasket the day before.

Once the valve cover was off, I decide it would be cool to take the head off (for some reason I do not recall).

Then realize I have no money and no way to get to the auto parts store.

Pearson Hurst > TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts.
08/06/2013 at 17:17

One evening I had drained and dropped the gas tank on my Scout to fix the sending unit. After sealing it back up and reinstalling it, I wanted to put some gas in he tank to verify it was fixed. Rather than run up to the local gas station with a gas can, I decided I'd just get enough gas out of my Subaru to drive the Scout up there and fill it up. I opened the hood of the Subaru, disconnected the coil and the fuel line from the discharge side of the fuel filter. I connected several feet of fuel like to the filter and began cranking over the Subaru, pumping fuel into a gas can. 15 seconds of pumping, 15 seconds of rest. In retrospect, this was a really dumb idea. An even dumber idea was to not use a hose clamp on the fuel line I had connected to the fuel filter. Since life obviously enjoys shitting in my mouth every chance it gets, the line popped off, spraying gas across the engine bay, where an arc from the disconnected coil ignited it. Thankfully there was no serious damage, and my family got a hell of a good laugh once it was all over.

Kinja'd!!!

fintail > TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts.
08/06/2013 at 17:52

One day I was bored, decided to clean the spark plugs in the fintail. While working, I accidentally knocked the brake fluid reservoir off its mount, spilling fluid everywhere. I attributed this to wearing a watch while working (I know), so I took off the watch and placed it on the ground. I cleaned up the mess, started the car, and went for a drive. Failed to remember the watch was on the ground, drove over and destroyed the watch. Poor planning all around.

wkiernan > TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts.
08/06/2013 at 19:13

Once, 35 or so years ago, the clutch in my SAAB started to slip, so I got parts and pulled it apart in my garage. This involved taking off the hood and the grille, and disconnecting all the various wires and hoses and pipes attached to the engine. Then I unbolted the engine and tied a big rope on some bolts on either side of the engine, and standing over the engine with the rope around the back of my neck, I stood up, eased it forward, lifted it out of the car, and set it down on a milk crate. Finally I took off the pressure plate and replaced the clutch disc. Reassembly was the same in reverse - it was tricky getting the spindle lined up, but I managed it. I got it all put back together except for the hood. As I lifted the hood up, what do you think I saw on the garage floor? The circlip that was supposed to hold the throwout bearing on.

I thought about it for a few seconds. Do I really need this? Maybe the throwout bearing will stay in place without it. No, no, probably not, or else they wouldn't have put it there in the first place. So I achieved the distinction of being a guy, possibly the only one ever, who pulled a two-stroke SAAB engine out of his car and put it back in twice in a single evening.

wkiernan > boddagettaflyer is staying put
08/06/2013 at 19:16

Ha, I did that once too, but you've got me beat because I don't have a law degree.

93Aero > TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts.
08/06/2013 at 19:41

Wiring my new LED trunk lights in to the existing trunk light sensor. Unplugged the quick connect plug with the wires for the sensor, trunk release and brake lights. I was working on this in my driveway, and I went inside to look something up. I decided it would be a good idea to close the trunk while I was inside. I forgot, of course, that the trunk release was not connected anymore. So when I came back out and tried to open the trunk, no go. Well thats an easy fix, right? Just use the key! Ahh but this is a 90s Ford product. Logic is not always present in the design. See, theres two keys. One for the doors and ignition, and one for the trunk and glovebox. I had only one of the keys, the ignition key. So Im sitting there thinking, how the hell can I open the trunk? No release and no key. I eventually ended up almost ripping the back seat apart, and crawling through a very small hole in the seat back to reconnect the plug.

shpuker > TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts.
08/06/2013 at 20:25

Replaced the entire front axle and all the control arms on my 94 grand cherokee and didn't torque down ANYTHING..... On hard corners the wheel would slip a quarter turn out of alignment. amazingly nothing broke and I got it put together correctly.

If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent > TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts.
08/06/2013 at 22:19

Every single time I go under the car I forget where I put my tools down and I have to grope around for them and often I end up rolling onto them (ratchet in the ribs = ouch)

DocWalt > PelicanHazard
08/07/2013 at 10:16

Don't feel bad, plenty of people have done that... *cough*myfatherspenthoursdoingthesamething*cough*